- Mood:
morose - Music: A Quitter - Rasputina
It's an immense task to fully grasp the impact Michael Jackson has had on popular culture, and impossible to translate to the space of one CD-R. I attempted to do so for the benefit of the sister that used to scare me by means of Thriller with the lights out when I was little, and her children who are ignorant- both to his superstar career, and to his eccentricities and controversy. Also, I am saddened by her passing after her hard fight with cancer, but it seems a shame that I best know Farrah for her role as Holly in Logan's Run.
*Mike and Ike's are, at the moment, packaged in a retro box. I turned one of the characters from the box (presumably Mike) into a userpic. wanted to do the same for Ike, but I wasn't satisfied with it. He's cute though. I wish Jolly Joes (the grape variety of this candy) were more readily available.In other sugary news, Orc juice is pretty damn good. Haven't tried the Elf flavor Mountain Dew though. And, yet again, where's the grape love? Pitch Black III, anyone?
*I found out yesterday that, barring any issue to the contrary, my contract has been extended for a year. Hopefully, this news will relieve some of the despair and anxiety I've been feeling, and maybe help me get out of here. I really need it- this remains an unhealthy environment that feeds into my depression. Thank you to those who have been an essential ears for me recently. A discount website I frequent recently had a netbook for $180, and I totally went for it, chiefly due to the fact that my laptop is a total piece of shit, and I wanted to sure I was able to fulfill my job commitment should it fail completely. It's a white Eee PC, and I named it Lil' Salty.
Let's see, it's been a month...
I
*Read up about a skin condition that has a name that sounds like a mythological beast.
*Thought about my self-image Felt lonely and frustrated a lot.
*Worked some days, didn't other days.
*Wished I could save those for when they could have interesting things happen in them.
*Went to a fantastic concert. Almost went to another concert that may very well have been fantastic.
*Bought some new shirts. Returned them. Bought other shirts that fit better. Thought more about my self-image.
*Took some pictures with a questionable new camera. Took questionable pictures with the camera I already had.
*Wondered if my life is too trivial to publicly advertise. Posted this anyway.
Bottom line remains "Yay for employment!"
The bottom line: it's about a job opportunity, and, though there are a couple more hoops, it's actually looking good.
- Mood:
optimistic, mostly.
- Mood:
*fingers crossed*
He has the tendency to watch a program that would hold my interest just long enough for me to be compelled, then get frustrated with commercials and flick to something else already in progress, and usually less interesting- potentially flipping back to the original program- during commercials on program "B" or "C"- after missing parts of it. He attempts to maximize his program time this way, but the result is an unsatisfying, zapped-out television session that doesn't add up to a quality experience, and probably doesn't ultimately put him ahead on the commercials. He also has the tendency to remark to some detail to me about how pretty the women on the tube are. I don't know if it's an attempt to covertly coax me to a straight epiphany, but it can make me uncomfortable. He can be a hard person to understand sometimes. During last night's entertainment trainwreck, a fragment of a abjured commercial mentioned the finding of amino acids on a meteorite. "That can explain where life on earth came from," says dad, to which I respond "OK, but where did that come from?"
His response?
"From God- like it says in the Bible."
I must have missed that part.
The judge-save has now been used on Matt Giraud.
Next week -disco week- two people are going home.
To stay in this competition, it is my belief that Lil needs to Knock On Wood.
Not that I really think she should win, but if she came correct with hair horns, I'd be obligated to vote for her this week.
Other than being unfortunate, anyone have any suggestions as to what that might signify?
First of all, I was able to acquire a flatbed scanner for less than $10 at my favorite thrift store, which means I can now stop taking photos of photos and have a much better means of transferring from the outside in. I've already added a couple old shots of me, and it was finally in my power to scan in the polaroids I took New Year's Eve and add them to flickr. I'm really glad I took my instant camera with me to that party,and captured some fun moments of the cusp of the new year.
Polaroid film isn't being produced anymore, as many of you know, which is a really upsetting phenomenon. But, here is now a bright-shiny beacon of hope for all of us that are saddened to see it go, and that still have those cameras: The Impossible Project has the intention to "re-start production of analog INTEGRAL FILM for vintage Polaroid cameras in 2010." They have purchased some of Polaroid's means of production, and are looking to make instant film again!
Also,I was able to leave the purgatory that is this household for 24+ hours this weekend, spending the night with gracious hosts, hanging out and playing wii with some buds, etc.. I got to really talk person-to-person with someone who I can relate to, which is something I really need more often. NW Indiana is pretty empty of that for me, so I really appreciate it when I can commune with others. It really does help my vitality, and to feel more like a real person.
Something else making me really excited is that the new Handsome Furs album, Face Control, comes out tomorrow, but was delivered to me today- I was, apparently, the first to add it to Gracenote. I preordered it with "tip money" from grandma, and had it blasting in the car as I drove around today. Its kinship to their first album is pretty apparent, but that's fine by me, as I loved Plague Park. I look forward to spending more time making Face Control's acquaintance. I recognized a few of the new songs from when I saw them last time, and hearing them made me excited for their return to the Empty Bottle on the 15th. I highly endorse attendance.
Q: "If you could spend a romantic weekend with only one of your livejournal buddies, who would it be and why?"
A: I asked the poser of this question for clarification on his definition and intention of "romantic weekend," and that question became part of his livejournal answers, which I was totally fine with, but found stunningly postmodern- as it didn't occur to me.
I read from his response that the connotation of this "romantic weekend" would include intent to move my relationship with the person to a new level of intimacy, affection toward the notion of being paired with them in a long term capacity.
The level of connectivity the internet provides is a blessing and a curse. I love that I've been granted an opportunity to get to know people I would have never known existed, and online meetings have catalyzed real-life friendships. However, Digital information transfer, even to the point of conversation, is not a tangible thing. I love that engage people I care about in this venue, but hate that geography still separates.
My livejournal friends list is full of people I'd like to know much better, and in a lot of cases, that definitely includes carnal knowledge. As far as romance goes, however, that narrows it down- due to the aforementioned geographical issues, the fact that many of my friends here have found their beaus, etc. But also, in order to truly have a romantic weekend with them, I'd need to know that they also wanted share it with me. Without the other half of that intention made known to me, I can't name names.
Q: "What is your alternate universe John doing right now?"
A: Wow. There's so many directions this could go. If often thought about how things could be different in my life. I imagine this other me is fundamentally the same: a chunky, nearsighted 28 year old that loves eating cheese and listening to music, isn't a fan of snakes or heights, etc. I can see a lot of things that could be different as well. Maybe he wasn't guilted out of being in orchestra by his parents. Maybe he never broke his foot playing tag. Maybe he still smokes. Maybe he's more confident. Maybe he's done psychedelics. Undoubtably, he still makes mistakes, just makes different ones, or uses the experience differently.
An alternate me could have drowned that summer day.
Or he could be in love.
Hopefully, he's been able to find a stable gig, and a place to live. Has friends nearby that he's comfortable with, and hangs out with them on a pretty regular basis. Is free to be creative and and feels fulfilled in it. Though, obviously, that isn't the only way things could go.
I wish him well- Unless he's a totally vile asshole, I guess.
Keep those questions coming!
Killing two relatable birds here.
Q:
1)"if you could be anywhere right now besides where u are at, with money being no option where would u be?"
2)"Where do you see yourself in one year?"
A:
I hardly can call myself well traveled. There are a LOT of places I aspire to visit when opportunity and budget allow. I've never been out of the country, so I'd definitely amend that. I want to visit some friends that I've made online in Canada and Europe, certainly. I'd want to see Australia, etc. And there are many cities here in the U.S. I should definitely see. The Big and Mini Apples, Boston, New Orleans, San Fransisco. I'd surely want to go back to L.A., and I really didn't get to see San Diego either. If money is indeed no object, no reason not to go.
Because of that, It's hard to say where I ultimately belong, but I have an affinity for Chicago. I live close-ish, but too far to really have an solid social life there. I'd love to see myself there within a year's time, but wherever I am, it really can't be this house. I feel so cut off from everything here in this stifling purgatory of a household. If I DO live here that entire duration, I see myself moving into some manner of health care facility- from going utterly batshit.
Q:A gabillionaire offers to donate a ton of money to the charity of your choice on one condition: you have to get out of a car--completely naked--and walk down a busy downtown Chicago street for four blocks, then get back in the car. You have been assured security, so no one will physically harm you. Would you do it?
A:Considering that we're probably talking paper money, and taken at literally a net ton, that would be at least $907,185 (weight of a US dollar bill x 2,000 pounds) going to a good cause. If given that offer, I believe I would take that opportunity. I would hope aforementioned gabillionaire would have my back as far as potential fines / legal fallout, but yes. It seems like a few minutes of potential cold and humiliation would be a pittance in exchange for that donation.
This month is question month, as I'm sure everyone has seen, and I'll entertain questions as well.
Comments are screened. I'll answer you in a journal post or respond privately.
I'm fascinated by the speech synthesis on these bad boys. I have to admit, though, that I recall being strongly compelled to turn a "Speak & Spell off mid-game before: "NOW SPELL 'BULLET'. NOW SPELL 'BLOOD'. NOW SPELL 'DANGER'. Now you're creepin' me out Mr. TMS51xx chip. Tonight, as I was about to borrow the "Speak & Music"s batteries to power some programming practice with a drum machine, I accidentally turned it on. "HELLO! PRESS A 'BLUE' KEY", says "Speak & Music". "There are clean towels in the dryer", says grandma.
She's been very verbose in her sleep again tonight. There have actually been a few proponents of my recording her and using her bizarre dreamtime chats as fuel for my recording project. Now, I will admit to seriously considering recording this phenomenon before, but more as documentation- akin to the recording a snorer as proof that the snoring does indeed happen. I think, however, that exploiting it might be regretted. Besides, while working with the tapes, I'd have to hear her babbling even more than I do now, and it already effects my sanity.
A link to the challenge below:
As mentioned previously, it's been just about a year since Andrew and I split up. I've come across the photos I have of our time together, and after debate, have added them to flickr, No reason our good memories be denied posterity.
Was it still the right decision? Absolutely.
Do I still think about it? Obviously.
Sometimes I have to re-convince myself that I'm still better for the experience of what we had, and that the uprooting of my life -while his remained stable- doesn't mean I'm somehow serving out some cosmic punishment.
But convince I will, because I know those things to be true.
Big hugs, Andrew. Happy Anti-versary.
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