I spent my weekend in Mishawaka, Indiana (right near South Bend) with my sister and her family. My niece has been going though some issues, and I'd been a while since I had seen them, so when they asked me to come, I was quick to say yes. And just as quick, my parents worked on making me feel guilty for planning to go given my current financial/employment situation. Any other time, and they'd be like "it would be nice if you went to visit." I can't do right in their eyes, it seems.

Ultimately, it was indeed nice to go visit, but I found my own depression starting to intensify by the time I was to return here: I feel almost completely cut off from tangible friends. I can't afford to travel idependently at all right now, and I don't have support local enough to relieve this feeling of loneliness. I felt horrible that I missed out on dedos's party this weekend (happiest of birthdays, Chris), but I knew I wasn't going to be able to get to Chicago. Hell, my parents were guilting me about wanting to see my own sister.

Just as I was resting my way into sleep the night I arrived, my phone rang, and it was jchbearin28. I hadn't heard his voice in about two years- indeed, I was at first worried that something was wrong. It turns out it was just a catching-up kind of call, and I'm glad he made it. It left me thinking about our times together, and those I've experienced since we last met. Would be nice to catch up in a more in-depth way. And talk to each other more often.

The next night, I dreamt that I was involved in an endtimes scenario, and that evil was threating me as a disembodied voice before it was to manifest physically. I escaped where I "trapped" by the presence, and the moment I told someone about what had happened, this enormous beast appeared, looking like it was made of brilliant semisolid fire/energy. A crowd was panicking, at least one of them was caught and being eaten by the beast before a similarly sized "good presence" showed. It seemed composed of creamy-white sunbeams, but had the same translucency. After it showed, I woke up.

Oh, and I promised you duckies. My sister's apartment complex has a really enjoyable pond setup, and it is mere feet from her door. The ducks abound, and they're fun to watch and feed. They also have one particular duck peering in the screen door many times a day.

My weekend?
*Visiting family
*An unexpected call
*Dreams of armageddon
*Feeling disconnected
*Ducks on parade

Well...
I was up in Chicago, for the Pride Parade on through the Wolf Parade concert. During this time I also got the opportunity to enjoy the fireworks in Evanston and to see Wall-E, both with qualitykill and skacubby which were both were excellent experiences.
Thank you Paul for putting up with me for that long. I had some great times with you.
I was finally able to get the pictures I had taken of the parade and the fireworks up on Flickr, because I now have a "pro" account, thanks to the generosity of GianOrso. Please check them out here, if so inclined.

I've been back in my rut for a couple days now. I've not slept at all since yesterday sometime, trying to facilitate getting up early for another round of job hunting. Hadn't had much to eat today, so I made a half-asserole*. Not sure when I'll end up sleeping -or for that matter, when I will wake, or where to apply next. There's probably more but my head is a lil' fuzzy currently.



*half-asserole: When you prepare a can of cream soup over a bowl of leftovers and hope for the best.

The things I do when I'm alone.

Many of my LJ friends have already posted pics of themselves in their undies today, and I'm joining in on the fun.
( Skivvy shots under here. NSFW and all that. )

This bit, featuring the recently late George Carlin, has been on my mind a lot this past year, with all the moving I've been doing. In fact, someone with no tact whatsoever told me "I should be really great at moving by now" in an really inappropriate context.

Presently, my stuff, in more or less its entirety, is here with me at my parents. Dad, Mom, and I drove down to Indianapolis to clear out my storage bin before another month's rent was nigh. Everything fit, but we were sure glad the seats in the minivan were removable. I've been reunited with clothes, furniture, Fernando, and various media, including a book about reducing clutter.



By the time we neared "home," the sun was setting. On the day, and on my preoccupation about my stuff being spread across the state. I was a little worried about flooding, but it seems that my belongings evaded waterlog.

Oliver, entrenched in batting around his toy, decided to climb up my leg.



This is after washing my bloody calf. Toldya he was a rapscallion.

My sister's cat Oliver is visiting. He's kind of a rapscallion.

lucentnotion's post reminded me about this:


The instructions are as follows, and I quote:

Cure for the Snack Attack!
* Place bar firmly in one hand
* Then...SMACK! your BIG HUNK on a hard surface
* Happily eat your bite-sized pieces
Or..For a Soft Chewy Treat
* Place your BIG HUNK in the microwave
* Heat for approximately 5-10 seconds (microwave strengths may vary)
* Carefully eat your SUPER SOFT CHEWY SNACK!
Note: Adult supervision is required

A couple more photos of the package and the hunk in question are on my Flickr.

I spent about a week in Chicago, returning just yesterday. As mentioned before, my sister bought tickets for her, her daughter, and I to attend the True Colors tour. We also took a trip to the Art Institute, which was cool to see again, even if some of my favorites weren't out due to renovations. Thanks to the "touch" exhibit, my niece got to play "guess who" with this gentleman.

A quick bite, and off to the Chicago Theatre. My bear flag necklace provided the perfect touchstone for the discussion I had anticipated: Yes my sister (and parents) had figured "it" out. She didn't know about the whole bear thing, so I explained that a bit.

The show itself was great- a solid lineup: The Cliks (who really rocked, and I really dug) Tegan and Sara (also quite good, and I appreciated their rapport) Rosie O'Donnell (who told a funny and poignant narrative from her life) The B-52s (who shimmied and grooved as you'd expect) and, of course, Cyndi Lauper (in amazing voice and energy, and whom I've been wanting to see since I was about three.). Thank you again, Lisa, for that excellent experience.

Hosting me during my stay was the adorable skacubby, whom I am missing as I type this. I had a super time hanging out with him, and hope to do so again really soon. Was awesome to share the week with you, Paul. I also had the fortune to see qualitykill and dedos while I was in town.

Everytime I go to Chicago, I hate to leave it more and more. I think it's probably the place I need to be.

For a poster intent on helping abolish obesity in Japan, it sure makes being a trouser-bursting fatty look like a blast.

userid1999 has been earning sainthood by working me through the making of a proper resumé, marketing myself, etc. I seem to have a really hard time with this time of thing. The grasp of what I can say I'm actually good at, what skills I possess, etc. Trying to play them up seems like pretentious fibbing. It doesn't help, of course, that I don't really have much career-related work history behind me because I spent years at big box retailers. I've got a degree, but haven't been able to put it to use yet. My ears are open if any more experienced folk have words of wisdom for me- I'd appreciate it.

As it is, I keep thinking of the Future Blob. Anyone else remember him?

There's a Zune commercial featuring the new N.E.R.D song. It caught me off guard when I thought I heard a nasty ( Silence Of The Lambs reference. )

One thing I have missed about living here is my the way my mom approximates the names of Mexican food. The woman inexplicably puts an "r" in the word "fajita". Today, she was informing me of the contents of the refrigerator and told me that there was "pinko de mayo" if I wanted some.



Pass the salsa that communist sympathizers make in the spring, please. I did end up having some- after a fit of laughter and informing her it was actually pico de gallo.

Yesterday's marathon of getting my stuff out and stored/packed actually went pretty smoothly overall.

Packing it all up (with the help of shelbycub and his truck for the large items) did take several trips, and much shuffling to make things fit(in the unit and the final load coming with me in my car). The luggage I had ratchet-strapped to the top behaved, even though I had concerns that it would either come loose and fly off comically, National Lampoon style, or the lashing would violently untether and flay me open à la Ghost Ship. The fact that poor planning put one of the ratchets right behind my head didn't help assuage that feared scenario. However, even when I had to brake suddenly to avoid making street meat out of a family of deer, things stayed put.


At my destination, my parents were both asleep, and though I had a key to get in, both outer doors were latched. I tried calling them several times in succession, but no response. So, I tried knocking, and jiggling the door handle as much as possible. The door finally came open as my mom woke up to see what was going on. My parents new cat was chatty upon my arrival, and for some reason thought my pants were tasty, which tickled incredibly.

Pirated wireless is serving for now, but it makes me a little uncomfortable to be using it. Parents and I are mostly getting along so far, but it's early yet. For right now though, I'm glad to be out of my previous situation. Ironically, another evaluator project started the day I was scheduled to leave.

From when I wake up, tomorrow will be dedicated to getting every bit of what I own out of this residence and into a public storage locker and then packing what I want with me back in the car.

I'm heading back to my parents house. Not a place I'm eager to return, for certain, but just about my only option- at least the most sane one at the moment.

Living in Indianapolis is not, apparently, the life I'm to live right now. Despite enjoying shared interests with junkshop_coyote and also the company of Chester, one of the cats here, living here has always been awkward, especially in the last few weeks, having been told it was time to move on. I knew this for myself, I was just trying to find out where that would be, not wanting to go back to the place I had left before moving for my relationship to ltjgcon.

A year later, I'm returning to Crown Point. A year that, aside from a couple brilliant bright spots (trips to the L.A. area and Chicago, etc.) has been one of my most challenging and, dare I say, scummy. Someone I was talking to about my situation mentioned me going back is like starting a new chapter. Maybe so, I do like the idea of living not-too-far from Chicago again. As far as the last chapter goes, I'm thinking of entitling it "Ways To Shit In Your Hat And Wear It".

I'll have to assess the internet situation and report back. It wasn't looking too hot up there as of when I left.

If I make it to the waterside, I'll be sure and write you a note, or something.

I never would have thought of wearing intestines as a hat- thanks, Yahoo!

A few rounds of bowling between packing for my trip and fixing myself dinner. The way I bowl on the Wii is just like the way I bowl in real life- in both cases, my game is erratic and terrible. As always, I'm full of nervous energy the night before a journey. I wonder if I can find that bottle of valerian...